cebu at 27 degrees, but it feels like 30, which is perfect for pretending you're not there
i didn’t plan to write this at 3am after a shuttle breakdown from the airport to the hostel. life’s like that here. the ticket got canned, so now i’m here with a lukewarm bowl of rice and a story to tell.
the thermometer said 27.25, but feels like 30.64. imagine that. yourrelative’s breath in a sauna, but outside. the humidity’s at 83%, so my hair’s doing that thing where it clumps like a bad hair day. i checked the forecast and it’s the same temperature for 14 days straight. hope you like that kind of thing.
nearby, the neighbors are either sleeping through the humidity or out there doing who knows what. one guy’s got a neon sign that says ‘fresh seafood’ but it’s 2am and he’s probably just rinsing sardines in his sink. if you get bored, cebu is a 45-minute drive, which is way better than that 2-hour thing i heard from a guy selling street tacos last night. he was probably lying about the tacos too.
someone told me that the best sindrier in town is in a place that smells like a landfill, but the old guy there made a mean batch. i didn’t try it, but the reviews are everywhere. or at least, the whispers are. another person swore the beach where they filmed that viral surf video is now a construction zone. maybe? i didn’t ask.
i rode the jeepney yesterday and the driver kept muttering about ‘the puerto princesa thing’ like it was a cursed place. when i asked what that meant, he just pointed at the map and said ‘those are the coordinates. don’t go there unless you like getting lost in a jar of pickled mangoes.’
[throwaway advice:] if you’re drinking gin rumba here, avoid the place called ‘the dancing beach bar.’ i heard that’s where tourists end up after three shots and a bad life decision.
this photo of a very tall building with a clock on its side was taken during a power outage. the sun was setting and it looked like something from a low-budget sci-fi movie.
this building with towers was captured when a group of teenagers were skateboarding up its staircase. they looked like they were auditioning for a viral flash mob.
[overheard gossip from the market:] someone warned me not to eat the bananas from that stall with the big red sign. they said it’s ‘the ones that smell like regret.’ i trusted them. i avoided those bananas.
if you want local flavor, follow this tripadvisor thread: link to cebu food reviews. or if you need a hostel, check out this yelp page: link to cebu hostels. for the cult enthusiasts, there’s a local board here: link to local events.
p.s. the map might be wrong. i’m not great with directions. just ask a local. or don’t. i’m your travel blogger, not a GPS.
i forgot to mention: this place has a coffee snob scene. i tried a place called ‘the cloud brew’ and it cost 150 pesos for a cup that tasted like metal. not my fault the thermometer was broken that day. brb, going to brew my own coffee using a rice cooker and a banana peel.
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