Buffalo’s Not What It Seems (Trust Me)
i woke up to the sound of a snowplow scraping against something that might’ve been a thought. it’s funny how 5112375 keeps showing up in random receipts here. someone must’ve printed it on a flyer for a secret pizza place that closed in 2012. and 1840057976? that’s the pin for a spot that’s not on any map. you’d think a city this big would have better secrets. i checked the weather and it’s blowing sideways right now, hope you like that kind of thing. 13.19°c feels like someone forgot to turn on the heater but left the windows open. my neighbor’s cat kept staring at the street like it was judging my life choices. if you get bored, toronto’s not too far. i swear someone told me the revolving door at the old library tastes like regret, but i’m not sure if that’s a rumor or a personal opinion.
walking around, i saw a bumper sticker that said ‘YOLO BUT MAKE IT RAIN’. it was next to a dumpster with a fish in it. i don’t know if that’s normal or if i’m just losing it. i visited the waterfront and it’s…there right now. i’m not even sure what that means. maybe the waves are doing a slow dance? who knows. someone mentioned on yelp that the subway tunnels have a ghost named brenda who haunts tuesdays. i’m 50-50 on that.
i stopped at a café where the barista was obsessed with 80s punk rock. he told me to trust the local surf shop. imagine that. i heard that surf shop closed last year. maybe it’s a ghost town too. i take that back. definitely a ghost town. i tried to find the undersupply warehouse, but all i could find was a guy selling used headphones and a very confused pigeon.
the weather keeps changing. i checked again and it’s…there right now. i hope you’re not allergic to that kind of thing. if you’re into weird vibes, the farmer’s market has a stall selling weird knockoff maple gear. i heard that place is run by a guy who once tried to sell yosemite postcards in a hurricane. it’s either brilliant or a crime against nature.
reviews are split. one tripadvisor said the cherry rematch diner is a ‘time capsule of bad decisions’. another said it’s ‘the only place where your sandwich will judge you’. i’m leaning into that. i saw a sign for a closed brewery that was covered in stickers saying ‘WE STILL EXIST BUT WE’RE SAD’. i took a photo and it looked like a post-apocalyptic café.
i linked to tripadvisor buffalo because reasons. also yelp for the ‘haunted karaoke bar’ which is 50% alcohol and 50% regret. and a local map that probably has more exits than a maze.
i took some photos. one of a bridge with a guy painting it with expired acrylics. another of a street performer juggling tires. and one of me trying to eat a pretzel while a dog stole it. all from unsplash.
if you’re a fan of chaos, buffalo’s your jam. it’s like if a tornado threw a party and forgot to invite anyone. you’ll find weirdness in the smallest places. like that bus number 5112375? i took it once and it dropped me off at a place called ‘nowhere’. i’m still not sure if that’s a metaphor or a real address.
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