newmarket’s cold coffee and crazier stories

i woke up to a number that looked like a password i forgot. 3837856. maybe it’s a hotel code or a tax invoice. either way, it’s not helping me figure out why my coffee tastes like soup right now. 1.8 degrees. feels like -0.43. that’s not a typo. that’s the temperature outside. and i’m not wrong. this isn’t a vacation. this is a deployment.

i took a picture of the sky. it’s a weird blue-gray thing. like the sky is holding its breath. i posted it to unsplash. who knows? maybe some algorism will decide it’s Art. the first image is a body of water with mountains. the second is green trees under blue sky. the third is a city next to water. i didn’t plan this. i just clicked.

someone told me that the locals here are all about the weirdness. i heard that from a guy selling handmade soap near the train station. he said, ‘you think this is cold? wait till you see the winter. it’s like the planet decided to take a bite out of us.’ i don’t know if he’s joking. maybe he’s a prophet. maybe he’s just mad about the weather.

if you get bored, nearby towns are just a short drive away. i tried to go to one but my car died. again. classic digital nomad problem. i ended up walking to a coffee shop. it’s called the hilltop brew. i heard that from a woman who was yelling about her dog. she said the coffee there is ‘too sweet, but the milk is worth it.’ i don’t know. i’m still drinking it.

i checked the weather again. it’s 1.8. i just checked. i hope you like that kind of thing. maybe you do. maybe you’re like me, out here in the cold, trying to make sense of numbers and maps and people who think this is a good idea.

another person said the reviews here are all fake. i heard that from a travel blogger who was drunk. she said, ‘this place is a scam. they’ll give you a nice view of the water but the parking is a nightmare.’ i don’t see the view. i see a wall of ice. but maybe that’s the point. maybe the scam is the chill.

i’m not sure if i’m a professional chef or a traveling disaster. i tried to make something with the water. it froze. i ate it anyway. it was weird. i posted the photo on unsplash. it’s a cup with ice and a single leaf. the alt text is ‘a body of water with mountains in the background.’ i don’t know if that’s accurate. maybe it’s a metaphor.

someone warned me about the neighbors. they said, ‘if you’re not careful, they’ll try to convince you to join their yoga class. it’s 5 am and they’re wearing socks with sandals.’ i didn’t take them seriously. until i saw a guy doing downward dog on a bench. he looked like he’d rather be anywhere else.

i added three links. one to tripadvisor. another to yelp. and a third to a local forum where people talk about how to survive here. the forum said, ‘don’t trust the weather app. it’s lying. it’s 1.8 but it feels like -0.43.’

i’m not a yoga instructor. i’m not a chef. but i’m here. and the cold is real. and the numbers are real. and the coffee is real. and the internet is real. and sometimes, that’s enough.



i’m not done yet. i think. maybe. probably not.

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