melted pavement and stolen ladders in mysticville today

well i guess i finally made it here. the last time i was in mysticville i got stuck in a drainage trench for 22 minutes and that’s how i know this place is real. 34.71 degrees celsius feels like someone poured hot oil over my bones and i’m just… holding on. humidity’s at 10%, which means the air tastes like static electricity and my skin is melting into itself. i just checked and it’s 34.71 right now, hope you like that kind of thing.



the map’s nothing special, but it showed a gas station right next to a church that probably shouldn’t exist. 24.62,74.68? whatever. i’ll be the first to admit that’s not exactly a hotspot on any travel blog, but if you’re here, you’re either lost or chasing something dumb. like that weird guy who keeps dancing near the market square every sunday at 3:47 am. i heard that from a guy selling coconut water at 8 am. he said it was his ex’s idea. weird.



the neighborhood? oh yeah. there’s a guy who lives in a van full of plants and charges people to water them. i asked him why he does it and he said something about ‘selling oxygen to stressed people.’ i don’t even know what that means but i gave him $5. turns out he wanted to fund his next yoga retreat. maybe i’ll revisit him. if you get bored, [cities near mysticville] are just a short drive away. not sure which one. i lost my gps somewhere.



food’s been a mixed bag. the first bite here was snake meat from a street vendor who swore it was chicken. i still don’t trust him. i heard that from aließ who works at the cinema. she said the chef tasted like regret. probably true. i skipped dinner to drink mango soda from a recycling bin. it was iced though.



reviews here are a mess. some local told me the underground subway tunnel is actually a secret disco. i don’t know if that’s true. i heard that too. from a drunk guy at the bar last night. he said the lights sync with the music. i’m not buying it. i saw a rat wearing a beanie though. that’s real.



weather. who even cares? it’s 34.71 again. feels like the sun’s melting the walls of my skull. i took a shower at a hostel using a bucket and a hose and now i smell like boiled power lines. someone said the pool here is filled with algae. another person said it’s filled with perfume. probably both.



the photos? i grabbed a few from unsplash to justify this post. here’s one of the weird traffic cone thingy in the middle of the street. i don’t know why it’s there. maybe it’s a monument to failed dreams.

!image
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don’t trust the signs. they’ll lead you to a closed museum or a guy selling counterfeit passports. i linked to a tripadvisor page for the central square, but 80% of the reviews are from 2012. yelp has a place called ‘the ghost milkshake spot’ where you pay with dog treats. i didn’t try it. too many red flags.



i’m writing this from a rooftop. the view’s terrible. the city looks like it was built by a drunk. i’m not even sure if this post makes sense. probably not. but here’s the deal: if you come here, bring sunscreen, a sense of humor, and a flask of whatever. and if anyone asks what you’re doing here? tell them you’re hunting for the guy who took my placard.



p.s. the weather data says pressure’s at 1015. i think that means something. or maybe it’s just hot air. either way, i’m leaving tomorrow. probably.



#travel #mysticville #human #vibe #messy

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