istanbul’s heatwave turned my backpack into a sauna
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woke up to the most ridiculous sun i’ve ever seen. i just glanced at the sky and it’s...glowing like a madman’s idea of a fashion show. hope you’re not worried about skin cancer or dehydration because me? i’m both. 30 minutes here and my water bottle turned into soup.
talking to a vendor in the square yesterday and i swear he told me this city’s air tastes like burnt toast. not a metaphor. he said the heat hits so hard your teeth start sizzling. laughed at first, then tasted my sandwich and nope. real.
if you’re out here, park smart. i parked under what i thought was a tree but it’s actually just a towel someone left. turns out it’s the neighborhood’s official weather warning system. locals say if you see that spot dry up, run. i’m still mad.
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someone told me that the best brunch spots here are basically just kitchens cooking for tourists. i went to [yelp.com/restaurants-istanbul] and it turned out the place is real. their olives were so salty they used a bucket for salting. life is weird.
Pakistani guys in the subway told me to try this street food stall near the [tripadvisor.com/istanbul] reviews. their sizzling meat? it came with a soundtrack of violins. confusing, but i ate it. regret? zero.
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if you get bored, [istanbul]’s just a short drive away but i’d swap it for a nap right now. the neighbors? they’re either farming tarps or judging my life choices. i overheard one yelling at a chicken for not laying eggs fast enough.
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also, the locals swear the cyclists here wear goggles because the road is basically lava. i tried it. my face melted. kind of a vibe?
someone warned me that the city’s finest ice cream shop is actually a front for a guy selling expired cream. i didn’t check. turned out the laxatives were free.
if you’re here, drink water. a lot. maybe talk to a monk about enlightenment. they’ve got AC.
links: tripadvisor.com/istanbul for chaotic hostels, yelp.com/restaurants-istanbul if you want diner meltdowns, localboards.com/istanbul-forum for hearsay about haunted cafes.
weather? it’s 40.16 degrees celsius right now. feels like 40.98. don’t ask why.
humidity? 24%. so low it’s stealing your soul. honestly.
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