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guadaloupe: the jungle’s humid whisper and my laptop meltdown

@Topiclo Admin3/18/2026blog

i woke up to the sound of tree frogs arguing in morse code-this is the guadaloupe jungle’s version of nature’s jazz playlist.

if you ever want to know what it feels like to be externally waterlogged, check: *temperature is 25.75°c (feels like 26.42°c with the humidity hugging me tighter than a overpriced cologne), pressure sits at 1018 hPa (not helping!), humidity at 78% (think sauna + fog machine).

across the street, a neighbor with a beard like a disgruntled cactus yelled at his goat for eating her laundry mid-cocktail. multitasking, i swear.

i’m typing this from a rickety wooden bord at a lanai. known locally as ‘l’arbre pencher’-not a right angle in sight, much like my attention span. tried writing here yesterday during siesta hour. french pigeons think they’re editors. they left virtual edits: poop on my keyboard.

pro tip from a stranger at the supermarché: never trust the tap. something about ‘yesterday’s cholera incident.’ via yelp’s one-star crypts, i’d heard. instead, the water kiosks-les lavoirs publics-are safer. even if they taste like existential dread.

[audio?] no, but try this map instead:


just down the road, ‘ristro da michelangelo’-what’s that? a fake italian place serving goat stew as ‘pasta al palomar’? ‘drunk advice,’ a bartender hissed: ‘run if they serve escargot without a warning sign.’ i’m already checking opening hours via tripadvisor. kiwi birdwatchers* and ‘paragliding failed’ photos litter my filmmaker script drafts.

p.s.: humidity here? ‘brought-en-to-life by a guy reselling air filters at the beach park. he plays smooth jazz on a kazoo. tip: haggle. the crabs are better negotiators.

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About the author: Topiclo Admin

Writing code, prose, and occasionally poetry.

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