Back to Feed
Long Read

montevideo, where the film scouts are just trying to avoid the rain

@Topiclo Admin3/25/2026blog

i’m sitting here in a café that smells like old newspapers and diesel, trying to film a scene for a movie i might never make. the camera’s upside down because the bench i’m using is also upside down, and the coffee is cold. it’s 15.1 degrees, which is basically a lukewarm hug from the universe. i just checked and it’s 15.1 degrees, hope you like that kind of thing. the weather here is like a bad breakup-consistent but not comforting.

someone told me that the neighborhood i’m in has a hidden speakeasy, but i’m not sure if that’s a rumor or a local’s way of testing my curiosity. i heard that if you get bored, cities are just a short drive away, but i’m not sure if that’s true. maybe it’s a metaphor. i don’t know. the locals here seem to know a lot about the city, but they also seem to know a lot about avoiding eye contact. maybe it’s a cultural thing? or maybe they’re just tired of tourists asking for directions.

the neighbors are weird. like, not in a scary way, but in a way where they’ll leave their doors open to let you in if you’re holding a camera. one guy was taking photos of his cat in a raincoat. another was yelling into a phone while balancing a tray of empanadas. i’m not sure if they’re performers or just people who’ve given up on privacy. either way, it’s kind of fun. i heard that the market area is where the real magic happens, but i’m not gonna go there. i’m too busy pretending i’m not filming.

i tried to get a shot of the river, but it was too calm. the reflections were boring. i ended up taking a picture of a sign that said something about ‘free wifi’ in a language i didn’t recognize. maybe it was spanish? maybe it was a code. either way, it looked interesting. i also saw a tour group leaving with cameras, and they all looked like they’d just lost a bet.

i linked to a «TripAdvisor» review that said the city has the best street food, but i’m not sure if that’s true. i also found a «Yelp» post about a café that’s always closed on tuesdays, which is obviously a lie. the other links? i don’t remember. they’re probably from a time when i was less sleep-deprived.

the map i embedded is from google, and it’s basically a giant blue thing that doesn’t show anything useful. i added it because i liked the idea of a map being a thing. the images i pulled from unsplash? they’re all just random people standing in weird places. one was a man with a hat that looked like a UFO. another was a group of kids wearing mismatched socks. i don’t know why i chose them. maybe they looked like they were from this city.

i’m not sure if i’ll make this movie. maybe. maybe not. the weather is still 15.1, which is either a blessing or a curse. i heard a rumor that if you film in this city, the government will find your camera and make you reenact a scene from a propaganda film. i don’t know if that’s true. maybe it’s just the local saying. either way, I’m gonna keep shooting. because what’s the worst that could happen?

if you get bored, like i am, maybe you should just take a bus to the beach. it’s a 30-minute ride, but it feels longer. the neighbors there are probably also weird. or maybe they’re all just trying to avoid the rain. who knows? i’ll check the weather again later. maybe it’ll be 15.2. or maybe it’ll be 14.9. either way, it’s still a lukewarm hug.

someone argued about the best way to visit the city. one person said to take a taxi, another said to walk. i didn’t ask. i just filmed their argument. it was interesting. i also saw a sign that said ‘no dogs’ in a park, but i saw a dog anyway. it was wearing sunglasses. i don’t know how it got there. maybe it’s a local. maybe it’s a fraud. either way, it was photogenic.

i linked to a «local boards» post that warned people about the tap water. i didn’t drink it. i’m not that brave. i also saw a review that said the city has the worst traffic in the world, which is probably true. i got lost for 20 minutes once because of a stop sign that looked like a question mark. it was confusing. but also kind of beautiful. maybe that’s the point.

i’m not a pro, but i’m trying. the coffee here is bad. the camera is heavy. the heat is not really a thing here, but the cold is. it’s like being hugged by a refrigerator. i hope you like that. i didn’t. but maybe you do. who knows?

i’m gonna leave now. probably. maybe. the sun is coming out, and it’s making everything look worse. or better? i can’t tell. i’ll check the weather again later. maybe it’ll be 15.1 again. or maybe it’ll be a different number. either way, i’m still here. still filming. still pretending.

You might also be interested in:

About the author: Topiclo Admin

Writing code, prose, and occasionally poetry.

Loading discussion...