Kazakhstan's Quiet Corner: A Dispatch From Kostanay (and Why It's So Damp)

okay, so i’m currently fueled by instant noodles and a questionable amount of coffee in Kostanay, Kazakhstan. it wasn’t exactly on my ‘must-see’ list, honestly. i stumbled here because…well, a friend of a friend of a drummer i toured with last year said the *bazaars were legendary. and also, the flights were cheap. don’t judge.

let me preface this by saying i’m a touring session drummer. i chase gigs, not sunsets. i need reliable wifi, a decent soundcheck, and a place that won’t judge me for eating cereal for dinner. kostanay…is testing my limits.

i just checked and it’s…permanently drizzling, apparently. the air is thick enough to chew, and the humidity is reading at one hundred percent. it feels like walking inside a lukewarm sauna. the weather reports said 3.01 degrees, which feels like a lie. a beautiful, damp lie. my cymbals are probably rusting as we speak.

so, the bazaars. they are pretty wild. mountains of dried fruit, spices that’ll clear your sinuses, and enough fermented horse milk to fuel a small army. i spent a solid hour trying to figure out what half the stuff was. i think i accidentally bought some sheep’s eyeballs. don’t ask.

someone told me that the best place to get beshbarmak (the national dish) isn’t in a fancy restaurant, but from this old woman named Aigul who sets up a stall near the train station. apparently, she’s a legend.

my hotel is…functional. let’s leave it at that. the walls are thin, and my neighbor seems to be practicing the dombra at all hours. it’s not unpleasant, just…persistent. if you get bored, Astana is just a long bus ride away, but honestly, i’m not sure i have the energy.

gear-wise, i’m regretting not bringing a dehumidifier. seriously. also, earplugs. and maybe a hazmat suit. just kidding (mostly). here’s a quick rundown of what i wish i’d packed:

Waterproof everything. seriously, everything.
A portable fan. for…reasons.
A phrasebook. my kazakh is limited to “hello” and “thank you” (and “where’s the coffee?”).
A really good book. you’ll have time to read.
Snacks. lots and lots of snacks.

i overheard some drunk guys at a bar last night arguing about the best place to find vintage *carpets. apparently, there’s a hidden shop somewhere in the old town. i haven’t found it yet, but i’m determined. i heard that the owner only accepts cash and haggling is mandatory. Check out this forum for more local tips.

I also saw a review on Yelp about a local cafe called “Shashlik House” that said the meat was “divine, but the service is…an experience.” which, honestly, sounds perfect. i’m always up for an experience.

someone warned me about the stray dogs* - apparently, they’re friendly but persistent beggars. i’ve already lost half my breakfast to a particularly charming golden retriever. Here's a local guide to Kostanay.

honestly, kostanay is growing on me. it’s rough around the edges, a little bit weird, and definitely not glamorous. but it’s real. and sometimes, that’s exactly what you need. plus, the drumming opportunities are…limited, which means i can actually get some sleep. maybe. Here's a local board if you want to know more.

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