ankara’s freezing winter turned my van into a sauna, and i still dont know why

i wasn’t sure what to expect when i landed in ankara at 3am after a 24-hour flight. my van’s little heater was already wheezing, and the dashboard clock read 4.67°c. that’s not a temperature, that’s a cry for help. i just checked and it’s still there right now, hope you like that kind of thing. the air tasted like old sneakers and distant thunderstorms, which didn’t make much sense because it was so still. or maybe it was a metaphor for my soul. who knows.

the first day here, i tried to find a co-working space. turned out every one was booked by people who probably believed in astrology. a local told me to hit that place on yelp: https://www.yelp.com/biz/nomad-cafe-ankara. i did. the reviews were equal parts reassuring and terrifying. one guy said the coffee was ‘liquid regret’ and another swore the Wi-Fi died every time someone screamed into a mic. classic digital nomad poetry, i guess.

but here’s the fun part: my neighbors. the dude in the next van said he had once smuggled goats through a checkpoint. i asked him if it was true. he said, ‘only if they were wearing scarves.’ i don’t know what that means but i now have a new life goal. the guy across the street claims he’s a secret historian. he keeps muttering about ‘the year 1792772640.’ i told him to chill. he hasn’t responded. probably ghosting me now.

i heard that the old market district has a ghost presence. or so someone told me while drunk at a bar on aarp. they said if you listen closely at midnight, you can hear a violin playing polka. i don’t believe in that stuff, but i went. nothing. just a guy selling ice cream cones shaped like tiny helmets. maybe that’s the ghost. who knows.

here’s what the weather radar said: 1023 millibars of pressure, 69% humidity. seems like a good formula for existential dread. or maybe just a fancy way of saying ‘it’s cold and damp.’ either way, my pants are permanently clinging to my skin. i’ve tried layering like a fashionable onion, but now i look like a sad potato with a backpack. maybe that’s the aesthetic here?

if you get bored, istanbul is just a short drive away. or at least that’s what the pro hepatocellular migration blog said. i Googled it. they’re not wrong. it’s like 4 hours. i’m not sure i want to take that drive while wearing a hat made of frozen yogurt.

someone told me that the local church has a treehouse. i don’t know if that’s true. i tried calling them but their number redirected to a voicemail that played ‘happy birthday.’ maybe a metaphor for their optimism. i’ll update if i find it.

here are some random links to help you survive: the ankaratripadvisor page is probably outdated but it’s better than nothing: https://www.tripadvisor.com/ankara. if you need satellite internet help, check out the reddit thread here: https://reddit.com/r/DigitalNomads. and for those weird greenhouse rumors, there’s a local board here: https://www.ankaralocalboards.com.

i took a few photos while wandering around. the first one looks like a melted clock. the second one is a homeless man wearing a tutu. the third one is definitely me crying into a protein shake. unsplash had some good options. here they are:

so yeah. ankara. freezing. weird. and somehow managing to make me enjoy it. i left my laptop in a park once and came back to find a squirrel using it as a skatepark. maybe that’s the legacy i’ll take home: nature reclaiming technology. or maybe it’s just a squirrel. either way, i’m not paying for therapy.

p.s. if you’re considering this place, pack more than just a sweater. i got lucky.

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