San Felipe: Where the Wifi Dies and the Rum Runs

woke up at 5am because the wifi was acting up and decided to wander down to the beach. it wasn’t the plan but here i am, slapping sand into my shoe and wondering if this was a mistake. the temp’s 25.5c and it’s that stifling, humid crap right now, hope you’re into that kind of thing. i checked the weather app like 17 times. it said the same thing every time. whatever.

walked through this place at like 7am. it’s that empty, post-vacation vibe all over. neighbors? well, there’s this guy in the shack who sells coconut water at 2am. he’s got a tattoo of a flamingo on his back. told me it’s ‘a symbol of the city.’ i don’t know if that’s true or if he just saw a flamingo once and thought it was profound. either way, his water is cold and cheap. go check it out.

i heard that the old hotel down by the pier is haunted. someone told me that. not me. some drunk at a bar. i didn’t believe it until i saw a guy in a top hat dancing alone in the courtyard. maybe it’s true? maybe he’s just a guy who likes to dance. who knows?

the rain started later. not real rain, more like that sideways mist that clings to your skin. i didn’t have an umbrella. i walked around in shorts and a tank top like it was summer. idiotic? probably. but hey, the locals do it. i saw a mom pushing a cart of mangoes and she didn’t even care. she was sweating and smiling. that’s the nicest part of all this, i think. the indifference. or maybe it’s just the humidity making everyone act like they’ve got it all figured out.

anyway, if you get bored, santiago or la Romana are just a short drive away. don’t ask me for directions. i scribbled some on a napkin and now i can’t find it. but the map’s here.

i took some pics. not great. the first one is of these six mason jars filled with juice. i don’t know why. maybe i wanted a still life. the second is lime juice on a glass next to some sliced limes. practical. the third is glasses with liquid. abstract. whatever. here they are:

i also saw this review from a place called ‘La Ceiba’ on TripAdvisor. it said something about the owner ‘having a temper like a crab.’ i don’t know if that’s a compliment or a warning. probably both. i didn’t go there. i went to a food truck instead. they had this weird bean soup. it was hot and the guy said it was from grandma’s recipe. tasted like regret.

youtube has a video of someone riding a scooter through this town. i don’t know why. it’s 2023 and people still do that? anyway, the video is bad. the scooter is crashing. the driver is yelling. but it’s authentic. that’s what i’m going for.

the humidity is making my skin feel like it’s been dipped in glue. i’m not walking anywhere now. just sitting here, sipping coconut water and wondering if this was the right call. probably not. but then again, who am i to judge?

one last thing. this place has a vibe. it’s not trendy. it’s not Instagram-worthy. it’s just… there. and that’s something. if you’re looking for a place that doesn’t try too hard, this is it. don’t let the numbers or the coordinates fool you. it’s a real spot.

p.s. if you’re into weird local lore, ask around. i heard a rumor about a ghost at the dance hall. some say it’s real. some say it’s just a guy in a sheet. i’m still not sure.

links:
- TripAdvisor for La Ceiba
- Yelp reviews for coconut water guy
- Local blog about haunted spots

tags: travel, San Felipe, human, vibe, messy

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