Jerusalem, But Make It Colder and Absurd
i woke up to frost on my camera lens because i forgot to cover it last night. turns out -0.39 degrees isn’t just a number-it’s a lifestyle choice here. i’m not even joking. my fingers were shaking so hard i thought my tripod might collapse. or maybe it was the coffee. yes, the coffee. i drank three cups and still couldn’t feel my nose.
started walking around the old city, got lost because gps hates me. asked a random guy for directions and he said, <<‘follow the bricks that smell like burnt spices-yours is probably the one that smells like cinnamon and regret.’>> so i did. ended up at this tiny café where the owner whispered to me <<‘you look like you belong in a movie about someone trying to forget something.’>> i didn’t ask for more.
i found this random spot where people were playing cards outside. it was 10pm and they were allaktions. no one cared about the cold. one guy had a scarf made of a crocheted bag. obscure. anyway, someone told me that the best falafel in jerusalem burns on the first try. i’ve never eaten food that warns you in advance. definitely not my style.
checked the weather app and it’s still -0.39. i’m okay with that. mostly. maybe i’ll take a selfie in the snow tomorrow. i don’t know. i’m a freelance photographer. supposed to embrace the chaos, right? i’ve got a waterproof camera now. bought it at a market stall where the owner also sold live crickets.
heard from a tourist that the human rights museum is closed because of ‘internal drama.’ i don’t know if that’s true or if they just didn’t feel like dealing with us. i left a Yelp review that says <<‘4 stars, would’ve given 5 if the pluralism wasn’t so heavy.’>> it’s there. you can check it. link: https://yelp.com/review/12345
neighbors? they’re all trying to turn this city into a tech startup. i saw a drone flying over the golden dome and i want to scream.joust a few blocks away, they’re building a server farm that’ll probably pollute the air before sundown. i heard from someone that the janitors at the hotel i stayed at cleaned up literal tears from tourists. i’m not sure if that’s poetic or just accurate.
here’s a map if you’re lost.
i took three photos here. two of the same pigeon squawking about chess. one of a street artist who was drawing a portrait of a man with hands made of smoke. 🌫️ image link: https://unsplash.com/photos/jerusalem-nights?page=1&w=1080&q=80 image link: https://unsplash.com/photos/frosty-camera?page=2&w=1080&q=80 image link: https://unsplash.com/photos/old-city-brick-chaos?page=3&w=1080&q=80
i don’t know if i’ll return. partly because it’s too cold, partly because i’m pretty sure the story of my life is now that i tried to eat a burning falafel. thoughts? ask the universe. or just ask the person with the bagel that tastes like regret. they’d probably tell you to drink more coffee. link to coffee shop: https://tripadvisor.com/barquq
someone also whispered to me <<‘the next big thing is a hippie bakery that only sells bread shaped like skulls.’>> i need this. even if i die. i’m not mad. i love this city for its madness.
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