prague’s cold streets and my latest spray can disaster

woke up this morning to a temperature that felt like it stole my soul. 2.31 degrees celsius? yeah, that’s not a typo. i checked the thermometer three times, half-expecting it to admit i was dreaming. felt_like? it was colder, like that moment when you forget to put on pants and realize too late. okay, back to the point.

so i rolled into prague last week, waving my skunk-green jacket at the wind like a fanatic. my camera was balanced on my shoulder, half-loaded with shots of nothing but concrete and pigeons. the street art here? it’s a mess, like someone spray-painted a funeral. i tried to photograph a wall that was basically a giant abstract poop emoji, but the graffiti hid in the rain.典型ategoria, i guess. someone told me that the artist here uses spray cans like they’re disposable tissues. i don’t trust disposable tissues.

the weather was a riddle. 80% humidity and a low of 2.31 made it feel like i was sweating under a perpetually damp blanket. i swear, the pavement here has a grudge. every step left a ghostly imprint. i asked a vendor at the market what was up with the chill, and he just shrugged and handed me a bread roll wrapped in a newspaper. classic. i heard that the locals call this ‘the kiss of prague’-don’t ask me to repeat that phrase.

still, the cold had its perks. i found a derelict studio near lazy river and spray-painted a raccoon climbing a lamppost. my technique was spotty-more ‘abstract expressionism’ than precision. i posted it online with the caption splat. this is art. nobody agreed. the internet is a judge.

neighbors? i don’t know. there were people huddled under umbrellas, but they kept their distance. if you get bored, musels are just a short drive away. someone told me that, but i can’t confirm. maybe they were high. or drunk. or both. i heard that the tram system here is haunted. i didn’t tell anyone.

the reviews were all over the place. i lurked on yelp for a café called kanecik, which has a 4.5 rating. good, right? a local whispered outside i heard that the coffee is brewed with seawater. seawater! i wrote this down but never followed up. maybe it’s a myth. or maybe they’re distilling coffee in a lab. who knows? another person said the hostel near slovacky has a rat problem. i didn’t stay there. i’m not made of money, but i’m also not made of courage.

i took three photos today. one of a tree dripping with ice, another of a bridge that looked like it was built by a drunk architect, and a third of my attempting to blend in with a group of locals while wearing a stupid hat. the first image went viral on unsplash. the second was deleted. the third? it’s still on my phone, framed by a crack in the screen.

here’s the thing about prague: it’s a city that doesn’t apologize for being messed up. the graffiti, the cold, the rumors-they all blend into this weird, beautiful chaos. i almost didn’t leave my cabin because the temperature outside felt like a betrayal. but then i saw a kid skateboarding down a alleyway, ollie-ing over a puddle like it was a ramp. he looked like he belonged. maybe that’s the lesson here. if you can’t handle the ice, find the skateboard.

< img src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1587158430169-d36adc6869ec?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&w=1080&q=80" alt="brown concrete building near green grass field under white clouds and blue sky during daytime" width="100%">
< img src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1583388634701-2b5f3e47814c?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&w=1080&q=80" alt="city with high rise buildings during night time" width="100%">
< img src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1631487208934-98f507e3f35c?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&w=1080&q=80" alt="a close up of a tree with water droplets on it" width="100%">

i’m off to explore a local board on tripadvisor now. if you’re curious about prague’s food scene, check out https://www.tripadvisor.com. for a dive into the stormy sidewalk gossip, hit yelp. and if you’re brave enough to visit, maybe pack extra layers. the weather here is a vibe, not a suggestion.

p.s. someone told me that the city council is planning to install more benches. i laughed so hard i almost cried. benches? in prague? what’s next, public hydration stations?

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