mistralia misfits and bad wifi spots

i woke up to a fan spinning faster than usual and a fridge that sounded like it was holding its breath. the heat here is just...there right now, hope you like that kind of thing. i checked the thermometer and it’s 28.35 degrees celsius, which is basically a bath in a tuxedo. not sure if that’s a good or bad vibe, but the humidity’s at 51% so maybe it’s a wash.

last night, i overheard someone saying the street artist collective does a midnight mural series. i asked if i could join and they said, ‘you’d have to bribe a local with coffee.’ turns out, the coffee shop down the alley has a sign that says ‘no complaints about the price’ but the owner is clearly judging you. maybe that’s a metaphor for life here?

i heard that the main square gets flooded every time the mayor forgets his umbrella. i don’t know if that’s true, but i did see a guy in a raincoat selling umbrellas outside the bakery. the bread there is amazing, but the queuing system is a scam. someone told me to go early, but i arrived at 3 pm and there was a line that looked like it was made of people who lost their way.

if you get bored, the nearby city is just a short drive away. i went there last week and got lost in a labyrinth of coffee shops. one had a sign that said ‘we don’t serve tourists’ but they gave me a free espresso anyway. maybe that’s the point. the locals are either amazing or terrible, depending on your mood and how much money you have.

i found a place with a map on the wall that led to a hidden beach. the beach is actually a parking lot, but there’s a view. i posted a photo on yelp and it got 5 stars. not sure if that’s real, but the comments said ‘this is the most authentic thing i’ve seen since i drank expired milk.’

check out tripadvisor for the worst coffee shop in town. it’s called ‘the burnt bean’ and the menu is just ‘espresso’ with a side of regret. yelp has a review that says, ‘i came here to drink and left to cry.’ that’s probably true.

someone warned me that the night market closes early if it rains. i didn’t believe them until i saw a group of people rushing out with umbrellas and a screaming child. maybe that’s why the weather feels so important here. i just checked and it’s...there right now, hope you like that kind of thing.

i met a woman who said she’s a historian but she only knows about the city’s coffee culture. she told me the first coffee shop opened in 1892 and it still uses the same machine. i asked if that was a metaphor and she said, ‘no. it’s a metaphor for stubbornness.’

the neighbors here are either very loud or very quiet. i heard that the guy next door plays saxophone at 6 am every day. i didn’t stick around to find out if it was a love song or a warning.

if you’re into weird stuff, the local board has a post about a haunted library. i went there and it was just a library. the librarian said, ‘we don’t do ghosts, but we do have great books on coffee.’

this place is a mess in the best way. it’s hot, it’s loud, and the wifi is worse than a broken phone. but that’s why you come, right? maybe you’ll find something or someone or a really good pastry.

i heard that the airport has a hidden room with free showers. i tried to find it and ended up in a closet with a vending machine. the vending machine had coffee. i don’t know if that’s a story or a curse, but it’s definitely a memory.

the key here is to not take anything seriously. if you hear that the city is ending, just grab a coffee and pretend it’s a metaphor. the weather, the people, the reviews-they’re all just parts of the chaos.

there’s a local legend that if you say the word ‘wifi’ three times in a row, the signal gets stronger. i tried it. it didn’t work. but i’m still here, so maybe it’s working for someone else.

this post is messy because life is messy. i didn’t plan any of this. i just showed up, got lost, and wrote about it. if you’re reading this, you’re probably in the same boat. or maybe you’re not. either way, keep going.

links: tripadvisor yelp localboard coffeeblog

mistralia misfits and bad wifi spots

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About the author: Eva Soler

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