messy thoughts on lausanne’s foggy streets and lukewarm coffee

i woke up in a hostel that smelled like old pizza boxes and regret. the weather’s throwing a tantrum right now, seven point seven two degrees celsius, feels like a drafty apartment in a fog. i’m a freelance photographer, so i spent most of the day trying to capture the same building from 20 different angles. it kept looking like a sad concrete cube no matter how i tilted my camera. the locals keep saying it’s ‘the soul of the city’ but honestly, i just took 12 selfies outside and called it a day.

there’s this one café on rue de la Grayson that everyone swears by. i heard that the latte art here is so good it’ll make you cry. someone told me that if you order the ‘mystery drink,’ they’ll add a splash of something you didn’t ask for. i tried it anyway. it tasted like regret and maybe a hint of cinnamon. the barista looked at me like i was a foreigner who forgot how to smile. i left with a quart of lukewarm coffee and a new respect for people who can drink that without making a face.

the neighbors? they’re the kind of humans who play loud music at 2 a.m. and then protest about noise the next day. one of them was grilling a whole chicken in their backyard while wearing a t-shirt that said ‘i survived 2022.’ i wondered if they were a time traveler or just really committed to their life choices. if you get bored, other cities are just a short drive away. like, you could drive to geneva and pretend you’re in a different universe. or maybe just take a taxi to the nearest train station and let the chaos continue.

someone told me that the street performers here are all ex-convicts. i went to watch one juggle flaming torches and immediately regretted it. the fire was too close, the music was too loud, and the guy kept glancing at me like he was judging my life choices. i heard that if you leave a few coins in a pigeonhole, they’ll throw them back at you. i did. they did. it was a small act of gratitude, or maybe just a way to avoid paying taxes. either way, it felt like a punchline.

i checked the temperature again and it’s 7.72, which is basically a mild summer day in a place that’s used to skiing. the pressure is 1024, which is standard, and the humidity is 75%, which means every time i tried to take a photo, my lens fogged up. i’m starting to think this weather is trying to kill my camera. or maybe it’s just my imagination.

i saw a review online that said the local gym is so basic it’s actually comforting. someone else claimed the public restrooms are cleaner than most people’s homes. i don’t know which one to believe. i’m also pretty sure the city’s bike lanes are a conspiracy to make people exercise while looking lost. i tried biking and ended up in a puddle. again. the map link below might help if you want to avoid that particular puddle.

i took a picture of a bridge over a river with buildings on both sides. it looked like a scene from a low-budget movie. the water was so still you could see your reflection, which is weird because i don’t think i’ve ever seen my face in a river before. another photo was of a street with graffiti that looked like it was painted by someone who had no idea what they were doing. it was chaotic and beautiful in a way that made me want to touch it, which is probably not allowed.

if you’re into history, there’s a museum that’s basically a warehouse with random artifacts. someone told me that the curator is a historian who lost their grip on reality. i heard that if you ask for directions, they’ll lead you to a place that doesn’t exist. i tried it. it was a dead end and a lot of regret.

i linked to a Yelp page for a local bookstore that claims to have the best mystery novels. i also added a TripAdvisor for a place called ‘The Feline Café’ which is either a real thing or a joke. the reviews are split, but the consensus is that the cat is judgmental.

i’m not sure if this post is supposed to be helpful or just a mess. maybe both. the weather’s still messing with me, and the neighbors are still being loud. the photos are all over the place, and the coffee is still lukewarm. i guess that’s the point. life here is a series of small, messy decisions. and maybe a few good photos. check out the unsplash links for more visual chaos if you’re into that.

if you’re into vintage clothes, there’s a thrift store that sells things you shouldn’t own. if you’re into coffee, there’s a place that charges 10 euros for a cup that tastes like regret. if you’re into anything, just know that lausanne will test you. or maybe it’s just testing me.

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