delhi's heat, chaos, and overpriced chai: a budget student's survival guide

the wind hits like a hangover here. you wake up in a hotel room that smells exactly like the tandoori chicken from the street outside. ::sigh::. i checked and it's 27 degrees right now, with that delhi humidity clinging to your skin like a bad idea. if you get bored, Gurgaon's mall fever is just a metro ride away.

turns out Delhi's street art is the original flash mob. every 3 seconds, some splatter artist tries to erase their own work faster than you can say "yallah". saw one painting a rickshaw with a pun so lazy it might as well have been nap time. the real trick here is knowing what to *slum thorough. i mean, yes, Chandni Chowk exists. no, you won't starve if you skip it.

someone told me that HotelXYZ's dal is made from 1972 onions. i tried it. it's [hot], like blister-soaked and glorious. not lying. the AC broke 23 minutes ago. now the entire lobby screams. if you get bored, Faridabad's temples are worth the sweat.

pro-tip: never trust a man offering to fix your bike helmet. he'll steal your phone. the local mechanic laughed at my English and fixed it with a coat hanger. genius. the bhel puri here is apparently a UNESCO site. i don't care, it's salty magic on toast.

this place doesn’t need glitter. it spews chaos okay.

random yelp bits: "the spice market’s cats vomit empire","why are you in soot? Comedy lounge","request vendor advice for "Iron bridge" on Zomato","animal shelter got emails from Uber drivers"-seriously?"

pro tip 2: wear sandals if you want strangers to offer you free cumin.

maybe next year i'll be a yoga instructor*. doubtful. maybe never. the mangoes though, yes. take those mangoes.

embeddedness:

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p.s. don't but the map now. maybe.

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