brussels at 3 am: a disillusioned consultant’s unfiltered tale

i woke up at 3 am with a headache and a coffee cup that was probably from last week. brussels felt like it was holding its breath that morning. the streets were quiet, which is weird because i thought they’d be noisy. maybe they were just doing their thing. i checked the weather and it was 8.78 degrees, which is like walking into a fridge. hope you like that kind of thing.

someone told me that the brussels sprouts here are a local secret, but i’m not sure if that’s true. i heard that from a guy at a bar who probably didn’t know what he was talking about. maybe he was just trying to sound smart. i don’t know. the locals seem to have secrets. like, if you ask them about the weather, they’ll say it’s ‘unpredictable’ or something. but i checked and it’s there right now, hope you like that.

the neighbors are weird. not in a scary way. more like they’re all doing their own thing. one of them was playing a saxophone outside my window at 2 am. i don’t even know why. maybe they were trying to start a new cult. i don’t ask. if you get bored, the old town is a short walk, but don’t ask me where the pubs are. i was too busy staring at the ceiling.

i drove around and found this spot on tripadvisor that’s called ‘the cozy café’ or something. i don’t know if it’s real. maybe it’s a trap. but i clicked the link anyway. yeah, here’s the tripadvisor link. it had reviews about the coffee being ‘decent’ and the vibe being ‘not too touristy.’ i’ll believe that. i also saw a yelp review that said the same café had a secret menu. i’m not sure if that’s true. probably not. but maybe. yelp link.

i saw this image of a building with a tower next to a street. it looked like something from a movie. or a dream. image 1. then there was a view from a high point of the city. it was just a bunch of buildings and some people walking. image 2. and another one with a clock on the building. i don’t know why clocks are important. image 3.

the map thing is here. i guess it’s just a random spot. [iframe src="https://maps.google.com/maps?q=51.0281,4.4803&z=12&output=embed" width="100%" height="300"]

i heard that the local bakery uses bread from the 1980s. i don’t know if that’s a thing. maybe it’s a myth. but i’m not going there. i’m too wary. maybe it’s a trap. or maybe it’s real. who knows. someone told me that. local board link.

in the end, brussels is just brussels. it’s not special. it’s not bad. it’s just there. i left with a headache and a weird story. maybe that’s the point. or maybe i just need more coffee. probably both.

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