Berlin’s 2am Coffee Runs and That 13-Degree Magic
so i’m writing this from a tiny table at a bar called groove that probably hasn’t changed since 2010. the sign outside is in some forgotten language that probably means ‘coffee but better’ or something. i checked my phone and it’s 13 degrees outside, which is like, exact same temperature as my expectations. i love this. not too cold, not too hot. just right for a third cup of espresso. يونيوobar’s latte? still hot. like, literally. it’s got this weird aftertaste that i can’t put my finger on. but does it matter? no. i’m here for the warmth. literally and metaphorically.
the neighbors outside? they’re loud. like, outside neighbors. one guy is hammering on a wall and another is shouting into a megaphone about ‘renewable energy’ or whatever. i don’t care. i just care that the rain is barely dripping and the sirens are far away. if you get bored, amsterdam is like 4 hours by train but honestly why would you? berlin’s chaos is its own kind of adventure. i heard that somewhere. probably from someone drunk on eurostar.
someone told me that the new bookstore in Kreuzberg has a secret room. i don’t believe it. sounds like a lie. or maybe it’s true. i don’t know. i don’t trust people who wear beanies in august. also, the weather app says it’s 13.44°C right now. which is… exactly what i wanted. i just checked and it’s there. right. here. breathing. into my coffee.
here’s a map to the chaos:
. zoom in enough and you’ll see the bar i’m sitting at. probably. it’s real. i bet it’s on yelp. also, if you need a place to sleep for two euros, check out hostelworld. if you need coffee, check out this random yelp link: https://www.yelp.com/biz/kasperlokal-berlin. it’s got ‘free Wi-Fi’ written in marker on the wall. probably expired, but who cares?
i saw a photo online of this place https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1723040352750-1679670e2b7c?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&w=1080&q=80. it’s a neon sign with asian writing. i don’t speak asian. but i bet it’s advising me to buy more coffee. or maybe just steal a bagel. who knows? another photo https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1688287633787-5f019794e9c1?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&w=1080&q=80 shows a sign on a building. the one that says ‘13.44°C’ every time you walk past. maybe it’s a spy. or maybe it’s just the weather. another one https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1567097897078-779d980d381e?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&w=1080&q=80 is grass under blue sky. not relevant. but nice.
i heard that the street artist in Prenzlauer Berg is doing a new mural. i don’t care. i care about my coffee. i care about the 13-degree ☕ vibe. i care that my phone battery is at 30% and i don’t care about the fact that i forgot to charge it. i care about nothing. except coffee. and maybe the fact that the neighbor’s megaphone just said ‘HI’ three times. that’s new.
if you’re here, you’re either a coffee snob like me or a drunken tourist who googled ‘berlin nightlife.’ i’m leaning toward the former. the latter? send help. or don’t. i’m not your friend. but if you want coffee, i’ll trade you a recommendation. https://www.tripadvisor.com/attraction_39625493/cafe-groove-berlin. it’s got reviews that scream ‘this place is a cult.’ i don’t know if that’s good. probably good.
last thing. the weather outside? still 13-something. perfect. i’m gonna finish this review with a single word:☕️
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